Alexithymia

You may have looked at the title with a puzzled look on your face. After all...what on earth is "alexithymia"? First of all, "Alexithymia" is one of my favorite songs by Anberlin. It took me a while to fully understand the meaning of this song, until I learned what alexithymia actually was.

According to Wikipedia, alexithymia is a personality trait in which a person has a hard time expressing his feelings. That shed a whole new light on the meaning of the song. Pretty much the meaning of the song is how people have a hard time communicating with each other, especially when it comes to deep topics. However, my favorite line of the song goes like this:

"It's not that we don't talk; it's just no one really listens and honesty fades."

How true is that statement! Everyone wants to talk. Everyone wants to express themselves. Everyone wants to share what's deep inside of them. Everyone wants to tell one person--at least one person--what's really going on. The problem isn't that we don't talk. The problem is that no one wants to listen. No one wants to share their problems with others because not everyone is honest. There's always the fear of gossip, and that if we tell someone else what's happening, they'll be thinking things about us.

Today, we have so many ways to communicate--texting, emailing, IMing (instant messaging, in case you don't know!), blogging, Facebook, and of course, the classic phonecall. With all these ways to communicate, why is communicating still so difficult? Perhaps it's the selfishness inside every one of us. While I was in Corpus Christi, the pastor leading the youth told us that it's so easy to talk, but it's hard to listen (Justin remembers, right? :D). When we're listening, we get impatient. That's the problem with communication. It's not that we don't talk; it's just no one really listens. That's why we don't want to communicate at all, because we know that no one will listen anyways.

So what are we supposed to do? Proverbs 11:25:

"A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed."

Just like this verse says, instead of trying to "refresh" ourselves, we need to "refresh" others. Instead of wallowing in our own problems and hoping for someone to walk up and encourage us, why don't we encourage others first? Like what the pastor in Corpus Christi said, sometimes all we have to do is listen. We don't even have to say a word. We just need to listen. Not just hear, but listen. Have you ever vented to someone? Wasn't that so refreshing just to let everything out and have someone listen? Did the other person have to say anything? No, but you were still grateful that you had them there just to listen to you. And if we take the time to listen, to encourage, and to refresh others, we ourselves will be refreshed!

So many people need someone that will just take the time to listen to them and to encourage them. Unfortunately, not everyone wants to listen and not everyone is trustworthy. However, we can change that by starting with changing ourselves. Someone might be needing your encouragement and a listening ear.

Someone might be me.